Early this morning (not as early as they said they were aiming for, but that's besides the point), my parents set off on a drive from Toronto, Ontario to Newark, New Jersey. A drive of 10, 11 hours? A long drive.
Once there, they will probably say hello to some relatives (time willing) and then my mother will be checking in to the Newark airport. She will board an El Al airplane bound for Tel Aviv and my father will find a place to stay for the night before driving back to Toronto tomorrow morning.
Lots of driving will be put in by my father merely to drive his wife to an airport where she coul save a few hundred dollars on a flight. Commendable, but this blog isn't about him.
It isn't about my mother either, who, a few days ago, realized that she must move her trip to her homeland up by a few weeks. She had a flight booked that would depart from Toronto towards the end of August. She may yet take advantage of this flight, but her primary reason may not be of any consequence by that time.
This is about my grandmother, my mother's mother. The courage is all hers. So, too, is the fortitude. My savta, my grandmother, Rachel Gruber, nee Neugebauer, nee Yucha was diagnosed with breast cancer around 13 years ago. Breast cancer claimed her grandmother many years before that. Rachel lost a breast then and went on with her life.
TIme passed and she stayed strong for many years. Strong and active. Then Osteoperosis kicked in. Kicked hard. She broke bones with regularity. The bones would not mend properly. Over time she lost the ability to walk, to stand and much use of her arms and hands.
Yet she still remained strong. Her mind was sharp. She was clever and witty.
Less than 9 months ago, I could say that her mind was just as sharp as it was 15 years ago.
Since that time, her intellect has slowed. It could be the natural effect of age. Combined with years of illness. After all this time, I don't think she is letting go willingly.
Now her body is breaking down. We were given a fright two months ago when she would go 24 hours and more without eating. She claimed that she had no appetite. I can't blame her; The cancer had spread to her gums, her stomach, certain internal organs and apparently, her spine.
She fought back then and I was lucky enough to talk to her a few hours before Maya and I boarded our own plane back to Toronto.
Last week, she had a few more prolonged fasts and spent a few days without ever fully waking up. My aunt Sara contacted my mother with the news that Savta would be moving into a hospice shortly as there seems to be nothing left for the medical world to contribute to her.
My mother could not bear the thought of arriving in Tel Aviv in late August without having her mother there. She is now enduring a 10 hour drive, to be immediately followed by a 12 hour flight, so she can say goodbye to her mother.
I hope age has time.
This is for Rachel Gruber, the most courageous woman I know.
Thank you for being my grandmother. I love you.
I won't forget you.
Ryan
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1 comment:
if your mother needs anything (that i might be able to provide) while she's here - please give her my numbers (050-7483866, 03-5503343).
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